Epiphanies
Feb. 23rd, 2015 02:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nerwengreenIn the first year or so after I turned 31, a whole lot of things about life, the universe, and everything started coming together for me and making sense. That was when I first figured out that I was trans, and when I suddenly found myself on the opposite side of nearly every argument I'd ever had in my teens and early 20s. It was a time filled with epiphanies, when the burden of feeling old in my late 20s lifted, and I felt like a spring chicken.
That was ten years ago. Then, yesterday I ran across the following question on OKCupid:
Which of the following types of intelligence do you most value?
I remember this argument, too. Ten years ago I would've gone with Logical / Mathematical without hesitation. Ten years ago, five years ago, maybe as recently as a year ago, I remember disagreeing with someone who said to me that Social / Interpersonal was more important because of how it applies to everything. I remember how limited my own thinking was at the time, to the ability to socialize at social occasions. I remember asking if they could be more specific about what they meant, and they couldn't be. It was something they understood by their own firsthand experiences, that I hadn't had myself yet. Such is the way of wisdom (as I know it).
Then I ran a community of 300ish people in a MMORTS for nearly 2.5 of the 3 years that I played. Then I tried to date someone who has nearly zero ability to initiate social interactions of any kind, and ran straight into my own limitations on that front (the ability to initiate things), hard. Both of these challenged and stretched me in inconceivable ways, that are impossible to explain afterward without giving all the context. Among other things, and this was a separate minor epiphany that came up along the way: there are whole categories of things that I may find to be completely impossible to do for my own sake, but if I have to do them out of love for someone else who depends on my doing them, I will be able to move mountains.
Anyway, so my response on OKCupid was:
Logical/mathematical and social/interpersonal are both important to me, but the older I get, the more I find that social/interpersonal starts edging out. It's not just about how well you can do at a party, it applies to everything related to doing anything with other people.
So here I am again, at the opposite side of yet another argument.
I wonder what my 40s are going to be like. I feel like a summer chicken.
That was ten years ago. Then, yesterday I ran across the following question on OKCupid:
Which of the following types of intelligence do you most value?
- Logical / Mathematical
- Social / Interpersonal
- Visual / Spatial / Artistic
I remember this argument, too. Ten years ago I would've gone with Logical / Mathematical without hesitation. Ten years ago, five years ago, maybe as recently as a year ago, I remember disagreeing with someone who said to me that Social / Interpersonal was more important because of how it applies to everything. I remember how limited my own thinking was at the time, to the ability to socialize at social occasions. I remember asking if they could be more specific about what they meant, and they couldn't be. It was something they understood by their own firsthand experiences, that I hadn't had myself yet. Such is the way of wisdom (as I know it).
Then I ran a community of 300ish people in a MMORTS for nearly 2.5 of the 3 years that I played. Then I tried to date someone who has nearly zero ability to initiate social interactions of any kind, and ran straight into my own limitations on that front (the ability to initiate things), hard. Both of these challenged and stretched me in inconceivable ways, that are impossible to explain afterward without giving all the context. Among other things, and this was a separate minor epiphany that came up along the way: there are whole categories of things that I may find to be completely impossible to do for my own sake, but if I have to do them out of love for someone else who depends on my doing them, I will be able to move mountains.
Anyway, so my response on OKCupid was:
Logical/mathematical and social/interpersonal are both important to me, but the older I get, the more I find that social/interpersonal starts edging out. It's not just about how well you can do at a party, it applies to everything related to doing anything with other people.
So here I am again, at the opposite side of yet another argument.
I wonder what my 40s are going to be like. I feel like a summer chicken.
